Daniel Skognes

These two words have different meaning depending on how you say them.  You have probably said to someone that was bugging you….”Don’t……..Stop!”  But what if you said, “Don’t stop”?  It totally changes the meaning, doesn’t it?

You have heard people say, “I am going through Hell.”  Winston Churchill said, “If you are going through Hell, keep going.”  I would add…..”Don’t……Stop!”

In Texas they have a bike ride every year in the middle of August, the hottest time of year in this state.  It usually exceeds 100 degrees. The Hotter’N Hell Hundred is an annual bicycle ride in Wichita Falls. It is held each year on the 4th or 5th Saturday in August (always 9 days before Labor Day) and includes professional as well as amateur riders. The professional racers ride a 100-mile road race, as well as time trials. For the amateur riders, there are road routes of 100 miles, 100K, 50 miles, 25 miles, and 10K.

Approximately 10,000 to 14,000 riders participate each year, making the Hotter’N Hell Hundred the largest sanctioned century bicycle ride in the US. 2009’s Hotter N Hell had over 14,000 riders. What in the world would possess that many people to push themselves in that kind of weather? What are they thinking?  Every year there are numerous cases of heat exhaustion.  What do they all have in common?  They don’t stop (unless physically unable to proceed).

There are two types of Hell we go through in this life.  One is the result of choices we make, and one is the result of circumstances beyond our control (natural disasters, violent crimes, etc.).  Either way, the advice is still the same:

Principle 1.  If you are going through Hell, DON’T focus on where you have been or where you are now, focus on the goal ahead.

Principle 2.  If you are going through Hell, STOP listening to the voices that are trying to hold you down and hold you back.  It may even be your OWN voice you have to stop listening to.  Change the way you talk to yourself if that is the case.

Principle 3.  If you are going through Hell, DON’T STOP.  It won’t get any cooler staying there. Hell has no fans and no air conditioning.

Sometimes perseverance is all you have left.  Take one more step through Hell.  Don’t stay there.  We all have our times of dealing with Hell on earth.  My prayer for you is that you find Shalom (perfect peace)….and some air conditioning!

Shalom!

Dan Skognes

“Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath.”

This applies to our business, our families, and our relationships.  Aren’t our relationships a lot like that commercial where we are shouting, “Can you hear me now?”  Increased volume does not necessarily correlate to increased understanding.  Truth is, sometimes a whisper is louder than a shout.

You’ve probably heard it said that God gave us two ears and one mouth. Use them proportionately.

The problem is we get so busy talking that we fail to listen.  If you find yourself justifying your position continually, perhaps you need to stop, take a step back, and just listen.

We are noise junkies.  Radio, TV, Phones, CDs, MP3s, etc., etc.  Occasionally and regularly turn it all off.  Get silent and listen. 

Do you take time to listen to God or are you just continually giving Him your wish list?  He is speaking to each of us and wants relationship, but that can’t happen without communication.  And that can’t happen without listening.

Much of the problem we have in our relationships with each other boils down to lack of listening.  If we sincerely listened to each other to the point of understanding and empathy, do you think that would resolve much of the arguments going on at this very moment?  Of course it would.  The problem we have is that we are wired to defend ourselves, so listening goes out the window when a disagreement occurs.

I am challenging you next time you are headed towards and argument, take a deep breath, step back, and force yourself to be silent…and just listen.  Feed back without adding your own spin to clarify that you interpreted what you just heard correctly.  What you believe determines what you hear.  So, make sure what you believe is true.

You can choose to be right, or you can choose to have relationships.  Many people have destroyed not only their own lives, but also the lives of others over this one flaw – insisting on being right.  Thus, listening requires us to lay down our rights and consider the other side.  I am encouraging you to choose relationship.  That starts with listening.

Shalom!

Dan Skognes

Have you noticed how hard it is to stay positive these days?  We are bombarded with negativity.  You can’t turn on the TV or Radio, or pick up a newspaper or magazine without hearing that “the sky is falling.” Bad news abounds.  In newspaper terms, “If it bleeds, it leads.”

So how do you keep from being drawn in to all of the negative chatter?  There is a morbid part of all of us that wants to hear it.  Not sure why, but who of us has not passed a bad accident on the road and been one of the goose-neckers?  I try not to do that….but can’t say I have never done it.

One of the best pieces of advice from a manager came early in my career, and I was getting ready to attend my first sales meeting with the company.  He told me, “Dan, don’t hang out with the negative people.  Find the positive folks and spend time with them.”   He did not explain why he said that, but he obviously knew that misery loves company, and was trying to protect me from being tainted in my thinking.

Who of us as parents have not had that talk with our kids or our grandkids about being careful of who you hang with?  Why?  Because evil company corrupts good behavior.  Unhappy people don’t want to be alone.  They want someone wallowing in the mire with them.

Isn’t it the same way even as adults?  Don’t we have an even higher need to guard our hearts and minds?  Is there some reason that we are drawn to the dark side of life? 

I believe that life is a challenge for most of us.  We all have our issues and our problems.  Why compound that with surrounding yourself with negative thoughts and behaviors?  I have enough problems with my negative “self-talk” without someone else chiming in.

Our mind is pretty incredible, and I know that what I feed is going to grow.  If I feed my mind positive thoughts, emotions, feelings, etc., then my behavior is at least going to have a chance of following in that direction.  Likewise, if I feed my mind negative things, then that is going to be reflected in what I believe and what I do. 

Someone once said that when we are squeezed, what is inside is going to come out.  When you are squeezed…under pressure…what comes out?  Blessings or curses?

I am not an angel…and I have been known to say something that I have regretted later, but I am keenly aware that what I say and do affects not just me, but everyone around me.  Who of us has not walked into a room and you could cut the tension with a knife?  Or visa-versa, walked into a room and you just felt complete peace?  How do you explain that?  Well, despite what you may believe about the spirit world, I believe we are in a battle for our souls, our hearts, and our minds.  There are forces that are at war with us that want nothing less than our total destruction.

Now you may not believe that, and that is one of the great things about this country.  We can choose to disagree and still respect one another.  But if you think what I just said is hogwash, ask yourself this, “Have you ever said something, and immediately thought, what made me say THAT?”  As my grandkids would say, “Just sayin.”  If the shoe fits, wear it.

So how do we stay positive in a negative world?  I will tell you what I have learned.  This is not an all-inclusive list, but I think you will have to agree, it beats the alternative:

Principle 1.  Put God first in your life.  If Christ is not at the center….that means you are….and you can’t be God, as much as you might want to be.   

Principle 2.  Put others before yourself.  Learn to serve others.  That has a wonderful effect on other people and will automatically generate positive things for both of you.

Principle 3.  Be thankful.  A grateful heart will help you remember all the things that God has done for you and is doing for you, so have an attitude of gratitude.

Principle 4.  Choose your friends wisely.  If you want positive thoughts and feelings, spend time with people that have peace in their lives.  There is a reason they have peace, and a reason you don’t.

Principle 5.  When everything is spinning out of control, spend time with your Heavenly Father, and have someone that you can vent to.  Everybody needs to vent from time to time.  Just remember….vent…don’t spew.

Like I said before, you don’t have to agree with what I believe, but think about what I have suggested, especially if you find yourself being negative most of the time.  We all have a choice.  What do you choose?

Shalom!

Dan Skognes

Lack of self-control has been the downfall of countless people, and even nations.  Think about the politicians, the professional athletes, industry leaders….and even countries that have fallen from glory because of lack of self-control.

Nolan Ryan is a legend in baseball.  I have had the privilege to see him play on several occasions for more than one team, and for my favorite team, the Texas Rangers.  Talk about self-control.  When he fired a fast ball over the plate, he knew where the ball was going and he delivered it with precision like a laser. How do you think the opposing teams felt when they heard Nolan was going to be the starting pitcher against them?  I have to believe it put a twinge of fear in them at the very least.

You may remember the famous picture of Robin Ventura, who got frustrated one day with Nolan (thinking he was trying to hit him with a pitch) and he charged the mound.  BIG mistake.  Nolan simply put his head in a headlock and pummeled him.  How embarrassing was that?  On national TV you lose your cool and get your butt beat at the same time.  He never has been able to live down that one moment of lack of self-control. Wow.

Principle 1.  Self-control is like a cornerstone in a building.  It is foundational to our character.

Principle 2.  Self-control can give you the discipline you need to achieve greatness.

Principle 3.  Lack of self-control has dire consequences.  Either you control yourself, or someone else will.  Ask the thousands of people who are in jail today.

Principle 4.  Lack of self-control is a result of anger or addiction.  Both result in self-destruction if not addressed.  If you are out of control, get help.

Principle 5.  The man who controls himself is on the course of stepping into his destiny. The man who does not control himself has taken a detour and may very well miss the sign that the bridge is out! Pay attention to the warning signs.

Are you self-controlled, or are you controlled by emotions?  Are you controlled by addictions?  I hope that you wake up and smell the coffee, as they say.  Self-control is like a seat belt.  It does not do any good if you don’t use it.  Buckle up.

Shalom!

Dan Skognes

Would you consider yourself to be a person of character?  Most people would probably say yes to that question, but I think that the sad matter of fact is that many people suffer from a lack of character.  Our character is who we are when no one is watching or listening, when there is no chance of getting “caught.”  What we do behind closed doors reveals our character.

I would like to think that I have a high moral character, but I know I am flawed.  I have to constantly battle with the choice of taking the easy way out, cutting corners, telling the little white lies.  Am I the only one that battles this?  I think not.  This is an epidemic that affects everyone on the planet.

We all have choices to make daily.  Those choices define who we are….and what is the depth of our character.  You have probably thought this about someone you know, “They are so shallow.”  Or you might have thought, “That is a true man of character.”  What is the difference?  What they do, say, believe, and live reflects their heart, and who they really are.

At our core is either a person that reflects truth, humility, kindness, generosity, forgiveness, life, and love, or it reflects greed, pride, selfishness, anger, resentment, cruelty, hate, and death.  I don’t think anyone actually wants to be in the second category, so how does that happen?  How does someone get so deluded in their thinking?

We have all known people who believe that evil is good, black is white, darkness is light. I call this the “Great Deception.”  Think about it, if we can be convinced  that evil is good, good is evil, black is white, white is black, dark is light, and light is dark….then the truth becomes the lie, and lie becomes the truth.  Evil wins, we lose.

If we have bought into the Great Deception and live our lives in that cloud, we have missed the very point of our existence.  Character does matter.  Our word is our bond.  Truth is truth….always.  Lies are lies….always.  They can never be entwined.  We have been taught not to swear.  We should let our yes be yes, and our no be no.  Why should we do that?  I believe it is because if we have character, if we are people of light and truth, then our word is sufficient.

There is a famous line in the movie, A Few Good Men.  Jack Nicholson is on the stand, being cross examined by Tom Cruise.  Tom knows that Jack is guilty, but he has to really push him emotionally to get him to admit what happened in a criminal case that he was part of.  Finally, Jack explodes with “You can’t handle the truth!”  He then goes on a several minute tirade about how he and the military are fully justified in breaking the law to keep our freedom safe.  Wow.  Talk about a pivotal moment.  When Jack finished with his rant, he felt better.  He thought he had cleared the air and is ready to get back on his jet and return to work.  Unfortunately, he just hung himself.  When the truth was revealed, his flawed character stripped bare, he ended up in custody.  Ultimately, character always matters.  Truth eventually comes out.

So, when you examine yourself, are you a person of character?  Can you handle the truth about yourself?  Do you truly understand and embrace truth and light? There is a difference between someone saying you are a real character vs. a person of character.  Choose to be the latter.

Shalom!

Dan Skognes

I recently learned the secret to sowing.  I call it the Principle of Sowing.  The Principle is simple.  Continual sowing eventually leads to continual reaping.  I think this is why so many people fail in life.  Whether it is in their job, their marriage, their friendships, their finances, it affects them all.  People sow for a short term and expect long term gains.  They give up before they see the fruit of their labor, often just when they were about to see their breakthrough.  The bad part for all us is that we can’t see the future.  We don’t know what seeds are going to grow and which ones will be eaten by the birds, fall on bad soil, or just don’t have the water or nutrients to grow.  That is where faith and hard work kick in to help us achieve what we have set our hearts and minds to.

Sowing is a process, not a destination.  It is continual in it’s concept, not something that you do and finish.  It is never totally complete, because even the seeds you sow have to be watered. And there is a harvest.  Harvesting is a four letter word that many people don’t want to think about….WORK.

Rule 1 for Sowing:  Make sure you are sowing the right seeds.  If you have not had the returns you expected in your relationships, in your business, or in your finance, make sure that you have the right seeds.  I know from my recent bout with losing a yard that you have to have the right grass for the area.  If you have too much shade, certain grasses just won’t grow.  Also, different parts of the country have grasses that work best in their area.   That applies to services and products as well.  Try ordering iced tea in New York.  I remember going to New York a few years ago and ordering some iced tea at a restaurant.  The waiter said they did not have iced tea.  I asked him if he had ice, and he said, “ Yes.”  I said,  “Do you have hot tea?”  He said, “ Yes.”  I said, “Please bring me some hot tea with a glass of ice.  That is iced tea.”  (Don’t even think about ordering sweet iced tea in New York) :o)

Rule 2 for Sowing:  Make sure you are sowing in the right field.  You can have the right seed (product, service, or efforts) and putting it in the wrong field, so it just does not produce the harvest you expect.  Make sure the field is tilled, ready for the seed, then properly watered and maintained.  Weeds and bugs have to be controlled, or they can wipe you out too.  The weeds and bugs in your life could be anything that keeps you from maintaining your field…things like hobbies, or just being lazy.

Rule 3 for Sowing: Sow continually.  How many times have you heard someone give up on a job, on a relationship, or even a hobby before they really gave it a chance?  We live with a microwave mentality.  We want to stick whatever it is in the microwave and voila, we have success.  Rarely does success happen that way.  It usually follows persistent dogmatic efforts through many trials and tribulations.  Don’t give up before the harvest.

Rule 4 for Sowing:  God gave you seeds of greatness to sow both into your own life and into the lives of others.  Sow greatness. God said we are fearfully and wonderfully made.  Believe that.  Receive that.  Sow that.

When you evaluate your life, your job, your relationships, and your finances, what are you sowing?  Are you in the right field?  Do you have the right seed?  Are you tending the field you have sown? Have you given up before you saw the harvest?  If I can encourage you to do just one thing different in your life right now, practice the principle of sowing continually.  Eventually, you will reap what you sow.

Shalom!

Dan Skognes

I remember a skit that was on TV many years ago. I think it was on Saturday Night Live, and they called it The Whiners.  It was about a family of Whiners.  They whined about EVERYTHING.  They whined about the weather, their jobs, their hobbies, their time, their neighbors, each other. Get the picture?  They whined all the time about everything.

It was funny to watch, but pretty sad to realize that there are real people who act like that.  You may know someone like this.  They literally can suck the life out of you before you know what hit you.  They are fun suckers.  They make you want to run the opposite direction as fast as you can.

What is the real difference between winners and whiners? I think it boils down to perception, attitude, and perseverance.

• Whiners make excuses, winners make a way.
• Whiners don’t take chances.  Why should they?  They will never win, right?  Winners forge forward and take calculated risks, and reap the rewards.
• Whiners hang out with whiners.  Winners hang out with winners.  Neither one likes to be around the other one for obvious reasons.
• Whiners see the future as scary and uncertain.  Winners see the future as exciting and filled with opportunities.
• Whiners are pessimists.  Winners are optimists.
• Whiners go in circles and never seem to learn from their mistakes.  Winners make mistakes, but they learn and grow.  They explore new frontiers. They blaze trails where no man has gone before.  Whiners never get on board. Winners are Trekkies.  LOL
• Whiners are ungrateful and never seem satisfied. Winners are thankful and have an inner peace, regardless of what they have because they know who they are and are driven to excel.  If a winner lost round one, they are gonna win round two, count on it. If they lose round two, look out round three. Setbacks and obstacles are part of the game. They keep focused on the goal.  Whiners never had a goal, so how could they ever achieve it?
• Whiners quit before they start.  Winners win before they start.  It starts in the mind.
• Whiners focus on themselves, it is all about them.  Winners are “other” focused.  They take care of themselves, but they have their priorities in order and realize that the world does not revolve about them. Winners understand that in putting the needs of others first, life has a way of rewarding them.
• Whiners say they can’t.  Winners say they can.
• Whiners lose.  Winners win.

So why would anyone choose to be a whiner?  Good question.  It is ridiculous when you look at the possibilities and rewards of being a winner vs. a whiner.  If you or someone you know is caught up in the whiner mentality, STOP THE MADNESS.  Get your brain washed, for Pete’s sake! You know the old saying, Garbage In, Garbage Out?  That is wrong.  Garbage In, Garbage Stays.  Start taking OUT the Garbage!

Turn off the negative feeds in your life.  What are you feeding your mind daily?  Is it positive, or is it negative.  Are you hanging with positive people?  If not, as Jeff Foxworthy would say, “Here’s your sign.” It is time that you take out the Garbage.  It has a way of stinking up the home, you know.

Shalom!

Dan Skognes