Bill of Wrongs

Posted in General

Bill of Wrongs dan skognes motivation blogger speaker, teacher, trainer coach, educator

Let’s face it, we live in an era when everyone seems determined to claim their rights. The Bill of Rights was instituted to clarify what we were entitled to as citizens of this country. The problem is that sometimes our rights are wrong.

When are our rights wrong? They are wrong when they disregard the rights of others, when they are totally self-centered, or when they have evil intent. Rights come with responsibilities. When we abuse them, we tend to lose them. There are consequences to every action we take.

Just a thought, but perhaps the most underutilized right we have is the right to remain silent. I tell students that almost every day. The problem is that many kids and adults just don’t know when to shut up. That right if used more often would solve a lot of problems in this world, don’t you think?

I like the three filter rule:

  1. Is it true?
  2. Is it kind?
  3. Is it necessary?

P.S. This is not a political discussion. It is simply a frame of reference for some human behaviors that have become distorted by some. Hopefully it makes each of us examine our own words and behaviors.

Shalom!

Daniel Skognes

Respect Yourself

Posted in General

I want people to like and respect me, but if I have to choose between the two, I will choose respect. Why? People that don’t like you will disregard what you think, how you feel, and what you do. If they dislike you but respect you, you will be heard at the very least.

This week a great drama played out in two of our classes. We had to pull about 10 kids from the two classes because of their arguments and disruptive behavior with each other.

I told them they had two choices: Either they learn some self-control, or somebody else was going to control them! I also told them I did not care if they liked each other, but they WOULD respect one another….and the respect would begin now.

Even as I was talking to them, one of the kids continued to argue with me! I asked the child five times to quit arguing and just chill out for a moment, but this kid had no filter and no common sense. Sadly, the consequences for this child in particular will be more than bargained for.

There is a lot of pent up rage in some of the kids I see. It seems they are determined to take it out on somebody….anybody within earshot. While I try to make every child feel heard and respected, I can’t allow them to run over everyone around them. I don’t know what is going on at home, but I have a feeling that it is quite dysfunctional.

I pray every day that God give me the right words to say, but I admit that some days I am at a loss for words. I know I make a positive difference in the lives of the kids, but days like this will make the best of us question whether what we are doing is making a difference.

I have to remind myself that there are some kids that I can’t reach despite my best efforts. That doesn’t mean I won’t try or that I will ever give up on them. If I can get them to understand that one thing alone, there is still hope for their behavior to change. If I can see good in them, perhaps they will see it at some point in themselves.  Once they learn to respect themselves, they can begin the journey to respect others.

Shalom!

Dan Skognes

Life Isn’t Fair

Posted in Business, Motivational

At some point in life we come face to face with the fact that life is not fair. The problem is, even though we know it isn’t, we expect it to be! This played out before our eyes recently on national TV with the now infamous non-call that cost the Saints the opportunity to win and go on to the Super Bowl. You could debate that they still could have won, but the fact remains that had the interference call been properly made, they could have run out the clock and won the game.

Here is what I hope come out of this lesson:

  • I hope the Saints don’t lose heart from this travesty. They are a great team and will be contenders next year as well.
  • I hope that the rules change in the NFL to allow a coach to contest a pass interference. Had this opportunity been in place, a replay would have obviously enforced a penalty against the Rams.
  • I hope we all are prepared for life to throw us a curve ball. The good news is that curve balls can be hit. We can survive regardless of what challenges we face.

This is not to take anything away from the Rams and their victory. It was not their issue and they played a great game. It just took some of the satisfaction out of the equation with the way it played out. It would have been fun to see Brady vs. Brees in the Super Bowl (maybe next year if they don’t retire). Of course, I hope the Cowboys are there next year! So in that case…we may never know what could have been.

Shalom!

Dan Skognes

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