Daniel Skognes

I sent out a question asking what needs to be taught in schools that is not currently being taught. I was surprised at how often I read that “common sense” needs to be taught. The question which I came up with subsequently was, “How do you teach common sense?”

Common sense is not part of any curriculum that I know of that is currently being taught in our schools. So…how do you teach it? Common sense comes from developing the ability to make choices that are positive and beneficial, but how do you get it? Is it hereditary? Can it be learned? Do you develop it from experience?

I don’t have all the answers here, but I do know that there is a lot of truth to the adage: “It takes a village.” When kids are taught in their homes right from wrong, consequences for their choices, self control, and the impact of their decisions, teachers are able to do what they are hired to do without the continual behavior interruptions.

Common sense comes from proper teaching at home, at school, and throughout life. It comes from making choices and seeing the outcomes…both good and bad, and learning the lesson hopefully the first time. I know that addictions and abusive behaviors can and will cloud a child’s judgment. We obviously need to protect kids from all harm.

There is no simple remedy to instilling common sense, but if we work together as parents, teachers, and as a community, we can teach it collectively. Certainly we need to model common sense for the kids. If we don’t have it ourselves, how can we possibly teach it? Common sense begins at home for all of us, and that begins with looking in the mirror.

Shalom!

Daniel Skognes

Have you every seen someone who is going on an overnight trip and they pack like they will be there a year? I have. It is funny in one sense, but it is disturbing on another level. The more you carry, the harder the trip is and the more people it will affect in a negative way.

Emotional bags are the heaviest things you will ever carry. I know adults that are still carrying emotional baggage from when they were just kids. They have never learned how to unpack, so sadly, their luggage gets heavier and heavier as they travel on the road of life. It sucks the joy out of their lives and destroys or disrupts relationships they could have had.

You can’t ignore emotional scars. The deepest wounds are often created by those we love and trust the most which makes it even harder to deal with. The wounds from someone you love can be healed, but it takes time, patience, love, and forgiveness. Whether you’ve been abandoned, cheated on, lied to, or abused, there is hope. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

It is painful to confront our past, but I do know a therapist that is open 24/7 and he has the answers to any problem you might be facing. He is the Lord God Almighty. The Bible tells us that we are to cast our burdens upon Him. We were never intended to deal with all of our problems ourselves. God even gave us an instruction book to help us any time we are needing it. The weird thing is that so many people have never even opened up the Bible and read it, and then they wonder why their lives are a living hell.

Allow God to help you with any hurt that you are dealing with. He never promised us a life free of pain, but He did promise His blessing, His help, His love, His guidance, and His strength to help you through any storm you are facing. He can help you unpack your bags, lighten your load, and get you back on track and living a life that is meaningful, joyful, and hopeful.

I realize that many situations require a therapist with skin on them. Just make sure their advice lines up with God’s Word. Anything short of that will leave you with even more baggage to deal with.

It is never too late to unpack your bags. The sooner the better…for you and all those that will cross your path.

Shalom!

Daniel Skognes

Walks are therapeutic. They are great for your health and also for you state of mind. Next time you are feeling stressed out, take a walk. If you have a spouse or friend who can walk with you, even better. Walking and talking relieves stress in magical ways. When we are allowed to get something off our chest in a safe place, it clarifies the situation and allows for options to be considered that you may not have imagined. Just make sure you take someone positive with you. You don’t need someone to pour gas on the fire. You need someone who will listen and love you through it in a non-judgmental way. If you have nobody to walk with you, remember that God is always with you and He is a GREAT listener. The only caution I would give you is that if you are alone and talking to God out loud, make sure you are in a secluded place. Otherwise, people just might think you are crazy! :o)

As a footnote, I do walks and talks with kids regularly at school to allow them to cool down from volatile situations and vent to me. Most of the time they calm down when they are truly heard. In the end, isn’t that what everyone wants: to be respected and heard? Self control is best learned at an early age, but we are never too old to learn it.

Shalom!

Daniel Skognes

Fingerprints are unique, and everyday we leave our fingerprints on the minds and hearts of people we encounter. I regret that two people who profoundly changed my life both passed away before I could tell them how much they meant to me. Both were teachers. One was in high school, and one was in college. The first one encouraged me to be a creative writer, and the second one taught me the power of humor and story telling when engaging an audience.

This made me realize that we need to tell people how they have impacted us before it is too late. Think about folks that have changed your life for the better. It might be a teacher, a preacher, a friend, a neighbor, your spouse, a child, or even a stranger. Someone along the way said or did something for you that touched your life in a profound way. Perhaps they are still doing it. Take time to write that person a handwritten letter and let them know how much they mean to you and how grateful you are for them. Trust me, it will make their day. It will also remind you to do two things: 1. Leave positive fingerprints on all those who cross your path. 2. Have an attitude of gratitude.

Shalom!

Daniel Skognes

Let’s face it: it is easy to lose focus in a world full of distractions. Cell phones, laptops, people, school, jobs, animals, and worries are all vying for our attention. Personally, I love the sound of silence. Early mornings are my time to focus on the day. I get so much more done when everyone else is asleep. LOL.

Is it any wonder that lack of focus is a problem for most people these days? It stresses people out when they can’t focus. It is like someone switching the light on and off rapidly as they are trying to think! Just my opinion here, but it seems self-evident that if you cannot focus, you will never be at peace.

First of all, we need to get our priorities straight:

1. We need to focus on God. He is our rock, our refuge in time of need, our provider, our hope, and our salvation. Know God, know peace. No God, no peace.

2. We need to focus on our family. Next to God, family is the most important thing. Family comes before jobs, hobbies, me time, etc. If you lose focus of your family, there are lifelong consequences that you will regret. Blessed be the ties that bind.

3. Focus on your friends. If you are fortunate enough to have 3 or 4 really close friends, you are indeed wealthy! There is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. Be that friend!

4. Focus on yourself. Be the best person that you can possibly be. We are all works in progress. There is nobody that can claim they have arrived. We always need to be learning, improving, self correcting, and striving for excellence.

5. Focus on your work. Whatever you choose to do in life, do it with all your heart. Work is a blessing….not a curse. Learn to enjoy what you do. Bloom where you are planted.

6. Find balance in your life. It is hard to walk if you lose your balance, right? Same thing if events in your life are in constant chaos. Make better choices and take time to unwind. That is why God said, “Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy.” We all need time to recharge our batteries and refocus on what really matters in life.

Shalom!

Daniel Skognes

1. Life is not fair. Get over it and quit whining.

2. Not everyone is trustworthy. Choose your friends wisely, and learn from your mistakes. Don’t give repeat offenders access to your inner circle.

3. Quit blaming someone else for your choices. You are responsible for the decisions you have made. This is part of growing up…so grow up. Own your mistakes.

4. You have to play the hand you were dealt. Play wisely. Consider the consequences.

5. You have two choices when you look at the glass of life. It is either half full or half empty. You have to choose which one you will drink from. Stay positive!

6. You don’t have to like everyone you work or live with, just learn to respect them and give them their space. If you want respect, give it. Remember that you can’t change anyone. Work on yourself and you will have your hands full.

7. Not everyone is going to like you, so quit trying to please everyone. Just be you…but make it the best you that you want to be.

8. Learn the power of forgiveness. If you forgive someone, they no longer have control over you. That is peace, power, and gives you freedom to move on.

9. Love conquers all. Let love rule your life. If you don’t know where to start, remember that God is love. Love God and love people.

10. Give thanks. Have an attitude of gratitude. A grateful heart will open the door for blessings.

11. Quit worrying about tomorrow. It does no good. Live today to the fullest. Trust God.

12. Learn the power of kindness. A simple act of kindness can help someone make it one more day. Be the person that extends a hand to help those who cannot help themselves.

13. Remember that everyone has issues. Cut them some slack and give them the grace that you need when you are having a rough day.

14. You find your purpose when you find your passion. Find what you are wired to do and you will love the life that you live. Everyone has a gift and a purpose, but we each have to find it on our own. Don’t give up on your dreams and don’t let anyone tell you who you are supposed to be. Let God direct your steps.

Shalom!

Daniel Skognes

Can you believe it has been 20 years since we were attacked? I remember that day very clearly. I was still working in the medical field and was getting ready to call on the VA hospital in Oklahoma. I was eating my breakfast and watching TV as the news flash came on saying a plane had struck one of the twin towers in New York city. It was a surreal moment to be watching the smoke and flames coming out of the tower and the speculation was that a small private plane had run into the tower. It was just a few minutes when the next plane was seen plowing into the second tower and we knew that we were under attack.

Many people have likened that moment to Pearl Harbor, but that was before my time. I do remember watching the first man walk on the moon when I was living in Abilene, TX, and I remember hearing about JFK being shot when I was in elementary school in Dallas.

We tend to remember moments like these because it brings us to an understanding that we are witnessing history. Whether it is horrific or just historic, we remember those moments because we know that life as we know it has changed. The Covid Pandemic is the most recent shocker that has changed our world forever. While I don’t remember the exact day I heard about it, I will never forget that year. 2020 was definitely an eye opener for everyone.

I don’t know what today holds, much less tomorrow, but I am grateful for the sacrifices that have been made to safeguard us and protect our freedom. We still live in perilous times, and evil is alive and well, so we have to be diligent and on guard continually. To those who have given their lives, we salute you. To those who serve in our armed forces now, we thank you and pray for you. To those who work as first responders, you are our heroes. Thank you for the sacrifices you make for us on a daily basis. Our thoughts and prayers are with all of you. May God bless and keep you.

Shalom!

Daniel Skognes

Last Friday I was asked to help out a teacher in 3rd grade who had a kid throwing a temper tantrum. He was throwing things around in the room and was out of control. I called him out in the hallway and asked him what was going on. He turned his back to me and didn’t respond. I said, “Come on. I just want to talk with you. You are not a kindergartner. You are in 3rd grade.” He turned around but still said nothing. I said,  “Please look at me and tell me what is going on.” He looked up and said, “My parents are getting divorced.” I put my hand on his shoulder and said, “Buddy, I know what you are going through. I have gone through a divorce and everyone hurts, but it will get better. You can still have a relationship with your Mom and Dad. It will just be different.” We walked down the hallway as he calmed down. It saddens me to think how many kids are going through this. Kids are the ones who suffer the most in a divorce. Just a reminder that you don’t  know what you don’t know.

Getting real with someone is being willing willing to share the pain.