In Looking Back We Understand

In Looking Back We Understand dan skognes motivation blogger speaker teacher trainer coach educatorIt is difficult if not impossible to totally understand what you are going through until you have been through it. When the walls are caving in and it seems like the pain and agony will not stop, it is very hard to think clearly and objectively.  We all just want the pain to stop…right?

However, this is not how life works. We have to take the bumps and bruises along the way.  We all have to take the good with the bad, don’t we? Well, to a degree this is true. The truth is: we will make choices along the way that either help us or hurt us.

If you are going through a particularly difficult time in your life, perhaps it is time to take inventory of where you have been. Consider these:

  • Where have I failed? Take ownership for mistakes and misjudgments you have made. Quit blaming your parents, your boss, your company,  your spouse, your girlfriend or boyfriend, your buddies, or even your enemies. Ask yourself, “What have I done to contribute to where I am today and how can I change it?”
  • Where have I succeeded? You may be one of those people who continually says, “I am not good at anything!  I am just a failure.” Stop it. There is GREAT power in the words you speak. Quit speaking curses over yourself. Everyone has succeeded at something at some point in their lives. What makes you truly come alive when you do it? If you don’t know what you are really good at, get someone to coach you. A good coach will be able to help you see those things in yourself that are positive and encourage you to explore doing more of those things.
  • Develop the habit of succeeding instead of failing. That requires perseverance, hard work, and self-confidence. Don’t forget to throw in some humility to balance the self-confidence.
  • Quit griping about your trials and tribulations to everyone. If you have a habit of complaining about life to anyone that will listen, you will find people drawing away from you…unless of course they are pessimists as well, in which case you will be drowning your sorrows together. Surround yourself with optimists if you want to find some joy in your life.
  • When you are going through a particularly difficult time in your life, get proper rest, eat the right kind of food, and exercise. That will help you deal with the stress in a healthy way. Avoid binging and if you are prone to have an addictive nature, don’t fall into that pit to ease the pain. Pain is nature’s way of helping us correct our course. We may not like it, but it can be a positive force to help us adjust our thinking and behaviors.
  • One of the positive things that can come out of your trials and tribulations is a testimony. You will be able to help other people who are going through the same thing and encourage them to endure it, and you will be stronger for it as well. There is no testimony without a test.
  • Suicide seems to be running rampant in this day and age. People are taking things into their own hands to end the torment and pain, when in reality it is a temporary thing. Don’t listen to that voice that tells you to end it all. That is evil incarnate. Your life has a purpose. There is a reason you are here, and if you are not where you want to be, you CAN change. You can change the people you hang with, the things you watch, the things you read, the things you listen to, and the things you believe…starting with what you believe about who you are and why you are here.

What you are going through will make more sense to you after you have completed the journey. The length of the journey may vary, but you will understand when you come through it. Hang in there, and don’t waste your pain. Remember: baby steps.


Dan Skognes


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