You Know You Are Old

  • If you ever called flip-flops thongs. Years ago my daughter asked me what I was looking for and I told her, “My thongs.” She got this horrified look on her face and informed me that they were called flip-flops, not thongs!
  • If you remember getting your first TV. It was bulky, had a black and white picture, and got 3 channels.
  • If you remember TV, movies, and music not laced with sex, profanity, or extreme bloodshed and yet they were classics.
  • If you remember what you used to do before cell phones and the internet.
  • If you had to eat what Mamma fixed or you didn’t eat at all.
  • If they still had prayer and discipline in schools.
  • If you watched the astronauts walking on the moon for the first time.
  • If you remember where you were when JFK was shot.
  • If you ever have said to someone, “Back in my day….”
  • If you remember when Roe vs. Wade became law.
  • If the serious behavior issues in your school were running in the halls, chewing gum, or talking too much.
  • If your school or car did not have air conditioning when you were growing up.
  • If you knew it was time for dinner because the sun was setting.
  • If it seemed that everything you ate was deep fried, full of fat, covered in gravy, and mighty tasty.
  • If a handshake was as good as a signed contract.
  • If you remember when people stood for the pledge of allegiance and the national anthem.
  • If your parents let you play outside all day without worry.
  • If one of your first bikes was a Stingray.
  • If you clipped playing cards to the spokes of your bike to make it sound cool.
  • If you thought that marijuana would never be legalized.
  • If you every played Pong, Space Invaders, Asteroids, or Pacman.
  • If Etch A Sketch was your first computer.
  • If you remember gas for under $0.25 a gallon.
  • If you ever ate Swanson TV Dinners.
  • If you don’t give a flip what other people think anymore.
  • If people who visit tell you that the TV is awfully loud.
  • If you know what this ad was about: “A little dab will do ya.”
  • If you wondered: “Who were those old people at your class reunion?”


Dan Skognes

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