You Don’t Want To See Me Angry

You Dont Want To See Me Angry dan skognes leadership development trainer coach consultant motivation blogger speaker

Remember that quote from the Incredible Hulk?  It was a warning that they had better back off, or he was going to lose it.  His anger would literally transform him into a monster that was uncontrollable.  Have you ever known someone like this?  It is pretty scary to see someone totally in a rage, out of control. Hopefully this does not describe you.

When you see this happen to someone close to you, how do you feel?  Pretty helpless, right? You can’t reason with someone who is in a rage.  It has taken control of their mind and their body.  Sounds like this is a hopeless situation, doesn’t it?

Have you ever worked for a manager or been in a relationship with someone who was like this?  You had to walk on egg shells trying not to “set him or her off.”  You never knew when he or she would explode on you or the people around you.  Nobody wants to be at ground zero when the bomb goes off.  If you survive it, you will have to deal with the emotional and physical pain for years….and sometimes even a lifetime.

Words can cut us to our core. If we just realized the power of our words.  They either speak life, or they speak death.  Very simple.  It is one or the other.  When anger consumes us and we let it control us, then we should not be surprised at the death that results.  How many relationships, both personal and professional, have died because of uncontrolled anger?  How many people have been fired because they could not control their anger?  Too many to count.

Well, the good news is, there is always hope.  If this is a problem for you or for someone you know, there are steps you can take: If you literally can’t control yourself, seek professional help before you cross the line of no return.  Identify what triggers you.  If you know what is likely to set you off, avoid those situations.

Principle 1:  Don’t let other people control you.  That is what is happening in reality when we lose our cool.  We are letting someone else push our buttons and they have control over us.

Principle 2:  Remain calm when someone else is losing it.  A soft answer turns away wrath.  An argument can’t escalate if only one person is participating.

Principle 3:  Anger uncontrolled will destroy your relationships.  Put the value of relationship as a top priority.  Seek peace and understanding.  Anger demands it’s own way. Allow others to have a different opinion.  You are not always right and the world does not revolve around you.  If that makes you angry….sorry.  The truth hurts in that instance, but that does not change the truth.  Our differences don’t have to drive us over the edge.  Realize that either you will control your anger….or someone is going to control you.

Our jails are overflowing because the lack of self-control has become epidemic.  Learn to forgive yourself and forgive others.  Unforgiveness breeds anger.  You will never control your anger without learning to forgive.  My hope for you and your relationships is that you are the peacemaker.  You are the one that puts the relationship as a top priority.  You are the one that holds your tongue and refuses to lash out in anger.  My hope, in essence, is that you seek and know Shalom!

Dan Skognes

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