Sometimes Good Is Enough

On the way to great you’re going to make a lot of goofs. Expect it. Nobody is perfect. Teachers, parents, bosses, and even spouses are guilty of expecting others to be perfect. They put these expectations on themselves as well. It is like a virus that we keep breeding. Left unchecked it causes damage that can lead to death.

Just because you make a mistake does not make you one. We all make mistakes. That is what we did, not who we are. Unfortunately for too many people what they do becomes their identity and thus when they don’t succeed, THEY are a failure.

We have to learn to celebrate the baby steps made in ourselves and others rather than point out the failures. I know it is difficult to do, but it is necessary if you expect to have any sense of normalcy in your life and in the lives of those around you.

I groan when I watch a parent yelling at their kid on the field for dropping a ball, striking out, or missing the shot. I know the wounds they are inflicting on their child will last a lifetime. They will remember the cruel comments above the occasional “I love you.”

Let’s start cutting people a little slack. Let’s begin by celebrating the victories…no matter how small they are. Let’s begin by letting the mistakes go. You don’t need to remind them of it. They know what they did or did not do.

I don’t think anyone grows up wanting to be cruel to others or to themselves. This is learned behavior but it can be changed. In order to be changed, it has to be challenged, and there is the rub. Many people are afraid of the consequences of speaking up: getting fired, taking a beating, being humiliated again, getting divorced, etc. This is just bullying disguised. Bullies don’t stop until someone steps up to them.

Do you want to stop bullying? Start with stepping up next time you see it done to you, one of your co-workers, your spouse, your kid, or even a stranger. Model for them how it could be done. Cut them some slack too because they are not perfect either…but at least now they see it through other people’s eyes.

Shalom!

Dan Skognes

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