Perils of a Home Office

Perils of a Home Office (360x282)

Having your office at home certainly has it’s advantages (my commute is 5 feet to the office in the morning), but it can have some disadvantages too.  I love my dogs, but there is a reason we call them Dumb and Dumber.  Our Lhasa-poo is named Molly, and our Boxer is named Laila.  We don’t need the Dog Whisperer.  We need the Dog Shouter.  They are deaf.  Don’t get me wrong.  They can hear, but they choose NOT to hear, if you know what I mean.  They are like kids that are trying to get your attention.

The other day I was in my office on the phone with a client I had never met.  I was trying to discuss what issues they were facing, and all was going well until Molly came into my office and laid on her back and started scratching her back on the carpet and going GRRRRRR , GRRRRRRR, GRRRRRR!!!  I was mortified.  I was trying to get her quiet and not lose my train of thought. All I could do was get down there as quickly as possible and rub her belly to keep her quite.  It was ridiculous!

Another day I was on my couch in the living room when a business call came in.  Laila, my boxer likes to sit next to me on the couch.  Normally she is fine sitting there, but this time she decided to start licking herself.  It was so loud that I was trying to figure out how to mute the phone and make her stop all at the same time.  My eyes were bugging out of my head at that point and I was giving her one of those looks that said, “If you don’t stop that, you are going to go see Jesus today!” You know that look…the one you give your kids when they are misbehaving in church.  Come to think of it, I used to get quite of few of those looks when I was a kid.  Is this payback, Lord?

And then another day, my wife decides to start mowing the yard when I am in my office on the phone.  Our back yard is right next to my office, so it sounds like a Mac Truck when she goes back and forth mowing the yard.  I suggested that she might want to do that in the evening, like after she made my dinner and Wheel of Fortune was over, but that did not work for her.  I thought it made a lot of sense though.  She could have been using that time in the morning more productively and fixing the transmission on her van, or fixing that leaky faucet.  I have been reminding her for weeks now about those things, but she seems forgetful for some reason.  She is a good woman, but she is going to have to get her priorities straight, if you know what I mean.

If you have pets, kids, spouses, siblings, roommates, or any other possible distraction, just know that you will have embarrassing noises that you cannot easily explain.  You know the expression that “You only make a first impression once?”  Well, take my advice and make sure you are isolated as much as possible when you make your business calls.  Of course, even then you can’t control the barking dogs when someone rings the doorbell or knocks on the door.  You would not believe the crazy barking that goes on when our dogs hear anything unusual.  Very often it is my wife or me they are hearing, but that does not matter.  They are going into a barking frenzy until they know for sure who it is and that person is in the house.  I am telling you…they are Dumb and Dumber.

I tried going out in my car one time to make a conference call.  I was in a parking lot at a 7-11.  What happened?  A guy parks right next to me in a Hummer, and his rap music is so loud that the windows on MY car were vibrating.  Sometimes you just can’t win, you know?

Good thing that God gave me a sense of humor.  That is all I am sayin.


Dan Skognes

2 Responses to “Perils of a Home Office”

  1. val says:

    These are indeed pervilous times we are living in…but I’m so glad to see you keeping that sense of humor of yours Dan.

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