When I was growing up Art Linkletter had a show with that title. It was hilarious. He simply interviewed little kids and waited for them to say what was on their mind…and it inevitably caught him and the audience off guard. If you have never seen the show just YouTube it and watch a few episodes. You can’t help but laugh.
Below are a few comments I have had from kids and my comeback to them:
- In relation to my claiming to be Superman, I have had many questions:
- “If you are Superman, you can fly! FLY!” I just tell them “I never fly without my cape.”
- “Where is your cape?” I tell them “It is at home with my wife…Wonder Woman.” That always gets a laugh and look of disbelief. I just give them a big grin and a double thumbs up!
- “Superman has hair. Where is your hair?” I just point out that I have some hair on my head…not much, but I have some. LOL.
- “Superman has muscles. Where are your abs?” OK, I admit it…that one hurt. LOL. First I ask them “What you are trying to say?” Then I just tell them, “I am working under cover, so don’t tell anybody.” Apparently I have to start working out.
- “Use your laser eyes!” I just tell them, “I can’t because it is a fire hazard and against the school rules.” Then I tell them, “Besides, that is what happened to my head. I was looking in the mirror one day and my laser eyes burned off my hair!” That usually makes them drop their jaws.
- “Batman BEAT you in the movie!” I just let them know, “That was just a movie. Batman and I are really best friends.” :o)
- “Superman doesn’t wear glasses.” I have to educate them. “Clark Kent does wear glasses, and he becomes Superman.”
- “Does Kryptonite really make you weak?” I tell them, “Yes…and Wonder Woman is my Kryptonite.” That usually gets a few giggles. LOL.
- “Superman has super powers. What can YOU do?” I tell them, “Be very quiet.” Then I thump my cheek and made a sound like water dropping. It is very funny. They are mystified by it and go around the rest of the day thumping their cheek and trying to duplicate the sound. In all the years I have done this I have only had one kid who could duplicate the sound…and he was a 5th grader. I also have the ability to invert my arms because I am double jointed. So, between the two…that is enough super powers to usually make my point.
- “Superman is not old!” To that I respond…”I am the ORIGINAL Superman! I just put on makeup and a wig for the movies.”
- “When are you going to fly for us?” I tell them, “Come to school on Sunday and you will see me fly over the school. I will wave at you!” Of course, they protest that there is no school on Sunday…but at least they know I tried. :o)
*Note to anyone wanting to be a super hero: You had better have answers to all their questions!
Other questions and comments:
- One little boy looked at me and said, “You have hair in your nose!” I pointed out that everyone has hair in their nose…including HIM. LOL. He was totally disgusted by the mere idea of it.
- “Are you pregnant?” Thankfully, I did not have to answer that one because another first grade boy told him, “Boys don’t have babies! Girls do!” By the way, that was my incentive to lose 25 lbs…no kidding. LOL.
- “What does gay mean?” I tell them it means “Happy!” At least it used to mean that.
- “What are those brown spots on your arms?” I tell them, “Aliens tried to abduct me and I had to fight them off! Or…it could just be from old age. I am older than dirt!”
- In relation to my age, I tell them “I am 112 years old.” Then I add, “But hey, I look good, right?” They get wide-eyed and nod yes. I tell them I was born in 1905. Usually there is at least one kid in the group who does the math and informs the rest of them that I really am 112 years old. LOL.
I think I need to bring this show back and interview kids. If you know anyone that produces TV shows, have them contact me. I already have lots of material. :o) Shalom!