Have you noticed this? People that have been hurt are the very ones who turn around and hurt others. That is a pretty sick cycle that we can all find ourselves in…perpetuating hurt.
How do we break the hurt cycle? How do we not inflict pain and suffering on others? It begins with dealing with our own pain and suffering. It means we have to learn to forgive.
You may be thinking, no way am I going to forgive them for what they did to me. I will never forget what they have done, and they are going to PAY for it. That is dangerous ground to be treading upon. It is actually a very slippery slope, and you will slide down to a level that even you yourself find disgusting. You may even cross the line of breaking the law and injuring someone….or to the extreme, taking someone’s life.
Principle 1. Forgiveness is a process. The deeper the hurt, the longer the process. You may have to forgive someone a hundred times a day because every time you think about them, you get angry. Let go of the anger and make a conscious decision to forgive.
Principle 2. Forgiveness is cleansing. It clears your heart and your mind to actually make rational decisions. If you have a problem making sound decisions, check your heart and see if you hold unforgiveness in your heart towards someone. That could be the very thing that is clouding your judgment.
Principle 3. Forgiveness breaks the hurt cycle. It allows you to extend grace and mercy to those who have wronged you. It allows you to act…instead of react. It helps you have self-control.
Hurt people are all around us. They are cutting you off in traffic, flipping you “the bird.” They are yelling, screaming, conniving, scheming, stressing, and making their lives a mess. They are lashing out at people around them and making sure that THEY feel the pain. Is that how YOU want to live? I hope not.
My hope and prayer for all of us is that we break the hurt cycle. Don’t you want to live in peace? You can, but you have to make the effort. The old saying is, “No pain, no gain.” I say, “No pain IS gain!”