dysFUNctional

I learned early in life that people are messed up. When I was in 1st grade, the teacher sent me and Johnny down to another teacher’s room to get some supplies. So what did we do? We did what any red-blooded kid would do. We RACED! As soon as we got to the door I proudly exclaimed, “I WON!!!!” My joy was short-lived. The teacher asked a stupid question: “Were you boys running in the hall?” We immediately had the look of shame come over us. She then sent us to the Principal’s office to tell HIM what we did. Good Lord. What HAD we done? We both got a spanking for that. I never even got to plead my case or let him know that I WON!

Later that same year one of the boys in the neighborhood thought it would be funny to push me into the mud at school. It WAS funny….for him. I was mortified. How was I going to explain this to Mom? Later that day there was a knock on our front door. I went to the door with Mom and guess who was there? The kid who pushed me into the mud was on our porch, and he wanted to know if I wanted to come out to play! No apology. No clue that he had done me any wrong. I just looked up at Mom and said, “Nope,” and shut the door. LOL. He had that surprised look on his face.

Recently in one of my classes there erupted loud laughter when one of the boys decided to cut the cheese. Everyone was holding their nose and giggling. Inside I was laughing so hard, but I stoically looked at the group and said, “Everyone does that. It is just a natural body function. We just don’t do that in public.” I thought I had put it to rest, but no…one of the boys called me out when he said, “But Mr. Dan…didn’t YOU think it was funny when you were a kid?” Dad-gum it! What was I going to do? Lie? I could have told them about the contests we had…but I just admitted that I did laugh when I was a kid and redirected them back to the project at hand.

The school counselor and I were talking about it and he started reminiscing about being in school and discussing the planets. He would always start laughing when they talked about the planet with the anatomical name. I told him about one teacher that was teaching about the planets and she used THAT planet as her example. She said, “Just imagine you live on Uranus. What would you see there? What things grow there?” OMG. The class was trying so hard not to laugh and I think I was coughing to cover up my laughter. She never knew what she said was so funny but I was crying from it.

Here is what I know about dysfunctional people: they honestly don’t know most of the time that they are dysfunctional. Everyone but them can see it apparently, but that does not change the fact that they are in dysfunctional bliss. There are a couple of things to do with dysfunctional people.

  1. Correct them, but do it in private. Shaming them is dysfunctional on your part, so don’t stoop to that.
  2. Realize that you may have to put some space between the two of you…especially if they refuse to change

I hate to break this to you, but everyone is dysfunctional at some level. We all have our flaws…even ME, and I am Superman! :o) Just admit it and you are on the road to becoming a responsible adult. I admit that I don’t like being an adult all the time. Sometimes I want to just be a kid and burp really loudly in class…..but alas…I must be proper. I am, after all…an adult. The good news for me is that I can write about it and tell the world! LOL.

Shalom!

Dan Skognes

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