ALIENS

Posted in Funny

ALIENS dan skognes motivation blogger speaker teacher trainer coach educator

I recently went to see the new Alien movie. I think I have seen all of them. The latest one was a little unnerving to say the least. I came out of the movie and realized that we have aliens among us!

I am not talking about the kind in the movie with the metal teeth that can tear you apart in one bite…although I have personally known a couple of them and let’s just say…I am lucky to be alive today and still have all my limbs intact.

I am going to reveal to you the biggest cover-up that nobody is even talking about. The elephant in the room is huge, yet not one person is acknowledging that it is there. The aliens are…..women!

You might think it is a joke, but this is real! Think about it. When a woman turns her head and gives a man that “look,” he melts like snow on a hot summer day in Texas. Or, when she is wearing those stiletto heels and strutting her stuff, the man is following her like a sheep going to the slaughter!

We are in trouble, guys. We are at war and don’t even know it. They put this stuff on their face and call it makeup, but it is war paint, guys. Wake up! Look at how many of them there are. They make up about half of the population in the world now. We marry them…have more little aliens. It is out of control!

They have pretty much taken over. They are in leadership positions around the world. Think how close we came to having Hillary as President. OMG! And thing about this, the Statue of Liberty is a what??? A woman! And why is she all green?  She is wearing camo!!! They are blending in and taking over.

I am not trying to be paranoid or anything, but there is a knock at the door. If it is a woman…I am not answering it. Oh no……it is my SISTER! How do I not give away that I KNOW what is going on??? Breathe Dan, breathe.

Here are my survival tips for dealing with aliens:

  • They are known for having to get out their 50,000 words a day. If you can’t handle that, get them a dog or two. That is why dogs were created. They are already under their spell. Just watch them and how they love their master aliens.
  • When speaking with an alien, never ask them what they think about something. Ask them how they FEEL about something if you want to even come close to understanding them. Even then it won’t make sense, but the alien will feel understood.
  • I realize that they are beautiful creatures, but don’t be fooled. They are controlling your mind right now.

I hope these tips will help you survive the perilous days ahead. I have to run now. I have things to do on my “honey-do list.” I will survive!

Shalom!

Dan Skognes

Storms

Posted in Business, Motivational, Relationships, Spiritual

Storms danskognes motivation blogger speaker teacher trainer coach educatorI think the only people who like storms are storm chasers and weather men because it pays them, but I am not really talking about the weather here. I am talking about the storms of life, and nobody likes those! For one thing, the only people who get paid are psychotherapists, emergency rooms, drug dealers, and funeral homes!

A few things I have learned about the storms we go through:

  • Going through a storm is like looking in a mirror and really seeing who you are inside and out. It will reveal your fears, your faith, and who your real friends are.
  • Storms come when you least expect them and they often come in multiples. So, expect the unexpected.
  • It is probably a good thing to have a storm shelter. It might be your spouse, you Mom and Dad, a trusted friend, but don’t forget God. He is our ultimate shelter. Have someone you can turn to for advice and encouragement.
  • There are storms that we sometimes create for ourselves. When you do create one, don’t complain when it rains and you get caught in a flood.
  • There is good that can come out of a storm. People will come to your aid in incredible ways, God will answer prayers and build your faith, and you will see life through different eyes. Once you have been through a few storms, you will be able to encourage those who are in the midst of their own storm because you have been through the same thing yourself. You may be the rainbow after the rain for someone.
  • Like the old saying goes, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Learn to navigate and endure, but also learn to avoid storms.

I realize that life is tough for most people. We all have our storms to endure. It might be a failed relationship, a lost job, death of a loved one or dear pet. The list is endless. When you are facing a storm, just remember you are not alone. Seek your storm shelter…and by all means ask God to calm the storm and help you through it. He is often the only one who truly CAN.

Shalom!

Dan Skognes

Drama

Posted in Business, Motivational, Relationships

Drama dan skognes motivation blogger speaker teacher trainer coach educatorI admit it, I like a good drama. I like going to a play or a movie and seeing a good drama play out. What I don’t like (and I bet I will get a few amens here) is all the drama in my own life. The funny part is that I don’t go looking for it. Drama just seems to find me. It is called life. Shakespeare said: “All the world’s a stage; and all the men and women merely players.” Ain’t that the truth?!

As a teacher I am constantly approached by kids to join in the drama they are going through. I was laughing with one of my fellow teachers that we need a drama department. We have all these natural born actors! They can cry at the drop of a hat, scream for no apparent reason, or make you believe the sky is falling when they describe the horrid way someone cut in line ahead of them!

What is not so cute is the drama that adults want to get you to attend. Alas, misery loves company. “Woe is me! I am undone!” LOL, drum roll please. Drama is best kept between you, your maker, your spouse, and maybe your best friend (if they can be trusted). Beyond that it just becomes gossip. I realize how tasty a morsel of gossip can be, but if it is untrue, unkind, unfair, etc., what has it accomplished?

Next time you are invited to join into a drama that someone else is going through, ask yourself these questions:

  • Does this person have a history of blowing things out of proportion?
  • Does this person want to stir up trouble for someone else?
  • Does this person want you to join in their misery?

If the answer is yes to any of these questions, don’t attend the play. Refuse the free ticket. You will thank me later….even if you are “tempted” by the previews. We all have our own drama that we have to deal with. Why put your problems on other people unless they are a trained therapist, your spouse, best friend, or your dog? Dogs, by the way, are great listeners. You can tell them anything and they won’t repeat a word of it to anyone!  How cool is that?

Shalom!

Dan Skognes

Look Back To Learn

Posted in Business, Motivational

Look Back To Learn dan skognes motivation blogger speaker teacher trainer coach educatorLook back to learn, but look forward to succeed. We all can learn a lot from what we have been through. It has been said that those who refuse to learn from the past are destined to repeat the lesson. You probably know someone that has made mistake after mistake and not learned from it. Why are we prone to ignore the mistakes of the past? Just my humble opinion, but I think when we experience enough pain, we learn the lesson.

Life lessons can be brutal for those that refuse to learn. History is full of examples of people who think they are somehow immune to the consequences of their decisions. Think Napoleon and Waterloo, Nixon and Watergate, Elvis Presley. There are countless examples of people who did not learn their lesson and paid a terrible price for it. The point is, there is always a price to be paid. If you don’t learn the lesson, you continue to pay, and pay, and pay. It could cost you your marriage, your job, your country, your life, your friendship, etc.

The good news is, you don’t have to continue to make the same mistakes over and over. You simply have to learn the lesson. I realize that is easier said than done, but it is necessary if you ever expect to move forward. Success in the future is dependent on what you decide to do now. You can continue to live in the past. You can let bitterness, resentment, hatred, and anger destroy you, or, you can move forward into your destiny.

Don’t worry about tomorrow, and don’t let the past keep you chained to living in the past. Live today as if there is no tomorrow. Believe and hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst. Expect the unexpected. Stay focused on those things that are eternal, and let go of petty hurts. Don’t let the past keep you from succeeding.

Believe in yourself, be a willing student that perpetually learns, and find your destiny.

Shalom!

Dan Skognes

Don’t

Posted in Business, General, Motivational

Dont dan skognes motivation blogger speaker teacher trainer coach educator

When you feel like doing these, don’t:

  • Worry
  • Cheat
  • Lie
  • Quit
  • Steal
  • Betray
  • Taunt
  • Hold a grudge
  • Be lazy
  • Pry
  • Be ungrateful
  • Complain
  • Blame
  • Tattle
  • Be selfish
  • Seek revenge
  • Be unwilling to love again
  • Be cynical
  • Be sarcastic
  • Be rude
  • Be fearful
  • Be addicted
  • Be racist
  • Procrastinate
  • Panic
  • Settle for less than the best
  • Be unwilling to listen
  • Not accept responsibility
  • Not express your love
  • Compromise your morals
  • Insist you are always right
  • Mess with Texas
  • Judge
  • Bully
  • Doubt God

Shalom!

Dan Skognes