Have you ever noticed that pain gets your attention very quickly? Whether it is emotional or physical pain you are dealing with, it does not take long for the body to react to it. I remember dropping a heavy metal door on my big toe as a young man. I thought I was going to pass out from it. My toenail turned black and eventually fell off. It was pretty gross. Fortunately it grew back.
Emotional pain is not quite as easy to fix. The body does not heal itself from emotional pain. We actually have to do something that can be extremely hard to do when we have been wounded by someone…we have to forgive them. As old as I am you would think I would have it down pat by now and be able to just forgive and forget when someone wounds me. Funny thing is, I am coming to understand how hard it is to forgive some things….and yet, I know I must.
The deeper the wound, the longer it takes to heal. When you are a trusting person you tend to get wounded more easily than someone who is less emotional. Some folks just shrug it off and move forward. That is not so easy to do if you are an emotional thinker. You can drive yourself crazy trying to figure out “Why?” someone would do something like that to you.
Here are some lessons I have learned about dealing with emotional wounds:
Quit dwelling on the “Why?” You will probably never get a satisfactory answer to it, so let it go. The “Why?” questions will drive you and everyone around you crazy! Don’t allow that to happen. Let it go.
Learn to forgive those who have offended you even if they never ask for forgiveness or admit fault. That has great healing power in and of itself. You may not be able to forget it, but you don’t have to bring it up again…and you don’t have to dwell on it. Let it go.
The secret to knowing you have forgiven someone is when you can actually bless them. How in the world do you bless someone who has hurt you deeply (whether it was intentional or not)? Here is the secret to the secret. You can’t do it without understanding and accepting God’s grace and love. He gives us the ability to forgive others because He first forgave us.
Emotional wounds heal quicker when you surround yourself with people who are grounded spiritually and emotionally. I love having friends around me who will let me vent, but they don’t let me park there. It is like being on a highway with a flat. You know you have to fix it one way or another and move on….or greater damage could result.
When you find yourself wounded, it is always good to take a hard look at your expectations. Were they realistic? Do we allow people the freedom to fail? Do we expect them to be perfect?
Next time you find yourself recovering from an emotional wound, pray about it. Ask God to help you forgive them and then do the unthinkable…..bless them. There is great freedom in forgiveness and learning to bless the mess. Let the healing begin.
You are very fortunate if you have a friend that sticks with you for life. Many “friends” have come and gone, but there is one guy in my life that has been a true friend for over 30 years. He started out as a client of mine when I was in the medical field. David Hull was the Material Manager of Mary Shiels Hospital in Dallas, and I was calling on him as a salesman for a local medical supplier.
There was something unique about David. The first time I called on him it was evident that he was different from most of the customers I had called on. We just clicked. We talked a lot about things that really mattered and it was pretty much in this order: God, family, life…..and of course, business.
It became evident to us both that we would be friends. We started grabbing lunch regularly and Big Al’s BBQ became our favorite restaurant. Tuesday was rib day, and inevitably one of us would call the other to remind them that it was rib day…and Big Al was calling us.
David has taught me several things that are incredibly important in life:
Keep the Lord first and foremost in all you do. Love Him with all your heart, and trust Him for all you needs. Sometimes we have to be reminded of that. Thanks for being my reminder, David.
Our God is a God of mercy and grace. Even when life blows up in our face, He is there with us, and He is for us. Thanks for helping me through the storms I have been through.
Friendship has to be intentional. If you want relationship with anyone, you have to work it at, appreciate it, and give of yourself unselfishly. Thanks for being intentional and continually sowing into my life.
What we do for a living does not define who we are. When we fail at something that does not mean we are a failure. It means we are human. Thanks for the reminder.
When you love someone, if you really love them, it is unconditional and is not affected when life hands you a curve. David’s love for his wife is so tender and giving. I know when she had her stoke, it was not what either one of them wanted or expected…but he has stood by her and loved her through it. Thanks for being an example.
David is a prayer warrior. I have a few of these in my life, but David and I go way back….so he is the chief warrior when I need prayer. I know when he says that he is going to pray for me, it is not lip service. I know is on his knees right then and there lifting me up…and visa-versa if he has a need…I do the same for him. Thanks for having my back.
Friendship is to be cherished. Life is tough at times and to have someone like David to talk to, pray with, laugh, and cry…that is priceless. Thanks for sharing life with me.
The Bible talks about a friend that sticks closer than a Brother. That is you, David. I love you and thank God for that divine appointment over 30 years ago. May the Lord bless and keep you. May His face shine upon you. May He guide you in all you do, and return to you a thousand-fold the blessings you have been to me.