Signs You Are Getting Old

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There is nothing good about getting old.  Seriously.  I don’t like it.  It dawned on me when I went back to my college homecoming that I was part of the club.  When I was in school I remember seeing all the “old people” come to homecoming.  The funny thing is, when I went back to homecoming not long ago, I still saw all the “old people.”  Somehow I had missed looking in the mirror.  

I started thinking about some of the things old people have in common:

  • They begin sentences with, “I remember when we didn’t have a ______________.”
  • Their backs go out more than they do.
  • Their teeth are like the stars, they come out every night.
  • Hair grows in all the wrong places.
  • Hair is missing from all the right places.
  • They look forward to watching Wheel of Fortune every night.
  • They get excited about Sr. Citizen Discounts.
  • The schedule that used to be filled with work is now filled with activities with the grandkids and being a baby sitter or chauffeur.
  • They have discovered that the naps they dreaded as children are now their friend.
  • They have a hard time watching an entire movie without dozing off.
  • They are less fashion conscious and tend to have their “favorite” outfits that usually have holes in them or paint on them.
  • They have a morbid curiosity to see who is in the obituary each day.
  • Their memory is fading on what they did today, but they can tell you what they did 30 years ago in great detail.
  • They shrink.
  • They long for “The good old days.”
  • They will just blurt out what is on their mind without any forethought and people just forgive them because they are “old.”
  • They break wind when they feel like it.
  • They tell you the same story for the hundredth time.
  • They see people that are in their 50’s as young.

There are just way too many things on this list that I can identify with, and I don’t like it one bit.  Now if I could just remember when I left my glasses. 

Here is to all of my Senior friends.  May your days be as long as your memory allows. May they be filled with laughter, peace, and of course…..Wheel…………….Of…………..Fortune.  How old is Vanna White anyway???  She is like the female Dick Clark.  She does not seem to age. I want a job like hers.  I know I could touch the letters that are called just as good as she does.  Just sayin.’

Shalom!

Dan Skognes

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