Have you ever noticed that pain gets your attention very quickly? Whether it is emotional or physical pain you are dealing with, it does not take long for the body to react to it. I remember dropping a heavy metal door on my big toe as a young man. I thought I was going to pass out from it. My toenail turned black and eventually fell off. It was pretty gross. Fortunately it grew back.
Emotional pain is not quite as easy to fix. The body does not heal itself from emotional pain. We actually have to do something that can be extremely hard to do when we have been wounded by someone…we have to forgive them. As old as I am you would think I would have it down pat by now and be able to just forgive and forget when someone wounds me. Funny thing is, I am coming to understand how hard it is to forgive some things….and yet, I know I must.
The deeper the wound, the longer it takes to heal. When you are a trusting person you tend to get wounded more easily than someone who is less emotional. Some folks just shrug it off and move forward. That is not so easy to do if you are an emotional thinker. You can drive yourself crazy trying to figure out “Why?” someone would do something like that to you.
Here are some lessons I have learned about dealing with emotional wounds:
- Quit dwelling on the “Why?” You will probably never get a satisfactory answer to it, so let it go. The “Why?” questions will drive you and everyone around you crazy! Don’t allow that to happen. Let it go.
- Learn to forgive those who have offended you even if they never ask for forgiveness or admit fault. That has great healing power in and of itself. You may not be able to forget it, but you don’t have to bring it up again…and you don’t have to dwell on it. Let it go.
- The secret to knowing you have forgiven someone is when you can actually bless them. How in the world do you bless someone who has hurt you deeply (whether it was intentional or not)? Here is the secret to the secret. You can’t do it without understanding and accepting God’s grace and love. He gives us the ability to forgive others because He first forgave us.
- Emotional wounds heal quicker when you surround yourself with people who are grounded spiritually and emotionally. I love having friends around me who will let me vent, but they don’t let me park there. It is like being on a highway with a flat. You know you have to fix it one way or another and move on….or greater damage could result.
When you find yourself wounded, it is always good to take a hard look at your expectations. Were they realistic? Do we allow people the freedom to fail? Do we expect them to be perfect?
Next time you find yourself recovering from an emotional wound, pray about it. Ask God to help you forgive them and then do the unthinkable…..bless them. There is great freedom in forgiveness and learning to bless the mess. Let the healing begin.